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When my husband Michael and I got married, we lived and worked in Singapore and never lived in Malaysia in the first 11 years of our marriage. We would travel back for the Chinese New Year, Hari Raya and Christmas holidays but when our family expanded and travelling became difficult, my in-laws occasionally came down to celebrate Christmas with us.

Michael is a Eurasian whose paternal ancestor arrived in Melaka in 1511 from Portugal. His mother Eileen and stepfather Joon Kong are Chinese. I am a melting pot Malay with a dark-skinned father and a light-skinned mom. The first Merican purportedly originated in India (which is quite evident in my dad’s skin colour and features) in the 1800s and other far-off lands while I’m not quite sure of my mom’s origins; however, most of her family settled in Johor. They have pale skin, almond-shaped eyes and wide noses and a quiet dignity about them.

My sister-in-law’s mother-in-law (my MIL’s besan)’s birthday is on 25 December, so occasionally her family is not there to celebrate with my MIL – they would be in Terengganu instead. Apart from the Chinese and the Eurasian, there is one Malay (me) and one Indian (my sister-in-law’s husband, Salmaan) in Michael’s family. Yes, definitely 1Malaysian.

Because both our families consisted of different races and adhered to different faiths, Michael’s courtship, and subsequently our wedding, were quite interesting, to put it delicately. As part of our marriage vows, Michael and I made an unspoken agreement that we would celebrate all cultural and religious festivals both our families did, and respect them, as our religion taught us.

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Christmas Celebrated In Singapore

The first festival we celebrated as a married couple was Christmas. I enjoyed the Christmas season in Singapore. There is a palpable air of excitement that seemed to permeate to the farthest HDB flat in the small city-state. One could also argue that it is over-commercialised, as can be seen in the numerous sales offering everything from the religious to every day, and back-to-school items. Whether you went to the luxurious Robinsons or the warehouse sales in Expo, it seemed that Christmas was the festival that everyone, no matter the ethnicity and beliefs, could enjoy or celebrate in their own way. I would spend hours scouring the malls looking for the ‘perfect’ gift for everyone, not only for my in-laws, but also for our Filipino helpers as well as my family, and my children’s teachers.

If my in-laws came to visit, they would usually arrive by bus on the eve. In the morning, Michael and I would drop them off at the nearby church for the morning service and pick them up a couple of hours later. Once we were back home, all of us, including our two helpers, would open the presents and then sit down for our much-anticipated lunch.

For those early Christmas when we played host, I would make prawn noodles (mee yoke) for lunch. Traditionally made with pork bones, mee yoke is a dish that Michael enjoyed immensely and often. After converting to marry me he yearned for it as no-pork versions were non-existent where we lived. My mother-in-law, who has accepted me, a Muslim, into her family, showed this example of acceptance by teaching me how to cook the halal version of this, along with other dishes that Michael misses. She taught me to use chicken bones, simmered for hours together with prawn shells that had been dry-fried, to give it a distinct aroma. Flavoured with rock sugar and soy sauce, prawn mee is enjoyed with yellow noodles and/or vermicelli, lightly fried prawns, shredded chicken, kangkong, bean sprouts, fried shallots and lots of ground dried chillies that have been fried with a bit of oil and shrimp paste (belacan) to give it a kick.

The rest of the visit would be spent at the beach or anywhere my in-laws wanted to go, whether shopping or sight-seeing or enjoying Singapore cuisine. At night, we would drive down to Orchard Road to see the fantastic lights and decorations.

Christmas In Kuala Lumpur

After we moved to Kuala Lumpur, we stopped hosting and went back to the traditional route of going to my in-laws’ for Christmas lunch. My mother-in-law would make a variety of dishes to accommodate the various palates of her extended family.

Christmas meal to me would always be American style, with turkey and cranberry sauce enjoyed in my days in St Louis and that was what I naively looked forward to the first time. Thus I was quite taken aback when it turned out to be assam laksa, a fish and tamarind-based laksa noodle soup, which was something that my mom made regularly when I was growing up. Realizing that Christmas lunch would be Asian-themed with an eclectic selection of dishes took some getting used to. However, I do appreciate that she takes care to cook something for everyone in her family to enjoy. Cooking for Chinese, Malay and Indian (who is Michael’s brother-in-law) appetites, small children, plus adhering to dietary and religious constraints is no easy feat. The result is a table bountiful with Portuguese devil curry, chicken rendang, spring rolls, fried wantans, pie tee, a vegetable dish, not to mention roast chicken and sausages for the children.

After the hearty meal, everyone helps to clean up and wash the dishes, and then the presents are exchanged. We linger for a few hours to chitchat and catch up on the latest news, especially since the next time we would all meet would probably be Chinese New Year, typically two months away.

This year, as per the norm for him, Michael called up his parents to ask what the plan would be, considering the current pandemic. Because of COVID-19, his mom advised staying away as everyone could potentially contract or spread the virus that doesn’t discriminate. Apart from the elderly family members, we also have small children; and others may have preconditions that make an infection riskier.

As for the consequences, I had planned to make prawn noodles for the Merican Nunis family to pay homage to our years in Singapore. However, our Indian neighbour told us not to cook anything as they would send over something to eat. Aunty Elizabeth is a great cook, and she and her husband Uncle Thomas have sent us some scrumptious curries throughout the years for us to enjoy. Always appreciative of good cooking, I can’t wait to enjoy the surprise lunch.

This year looks like it will be a quiet, do-nothing Christmas day for us Eurasian-Malay family. Ah well, at least we are safe and so far, healthy. – New Malaysia Herald

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The post It’s A 1Malaysia Christmas When It Comes To Our Family first appeared on NMH.

Before anything else, let me just take care of the elephant in the room. Merdeka! Merdeka! Merdeka! Say that 63 times. Happy Independence Day to all Malaysians and to our wonderful country Malaysia. However, like the Beatles song says: Will you still need me? Will you still feed me? When I’m 64.

Well, Malaysia will be 64 next year. Will we still need her? Treat her nicely? Take care of her the way she has taken care of us for the last 63 years? Of course we do. Well, at least my friends and I will. And we all hope you will too. She is after all a “wargamas” (senior citizen) that needs our attention and care.

So Happy 63rd Merdeka Day Malaysia. We will love you today, when you’re 64, and every year hence.

6 Degrees Of Desperation

Now, welcome to my little op-ed column. A piece of fortnightly drivel I call 6 degrees of Desperation. Yes, whilst all of us are separated by six degrees (google it if you don’t understand this theorem), we are also separated by six degrees of desperation – in its many forms. So, bear with me as I delve weekly on the many kinds of desperation our society wallows in – some profound, some stupid, but mostly just pointless ones.

Things and events effect all of us…in ways you may not even know it. All within six degrees of us all.

Food, Glorious Food

To begin, let’s talk about something that ALL of us agree on. Yes, we are only separated by one degree in this particular subject. Everyone is an expert. Everyone can NOT stop talking about it. Everyone thinks they know everything that needs to be known about it. And everyone loves it. MALAYSIAN FOOD!

Yup…a trivial enough subject that actually needs to be seriously studied under the microscope.

We talk about food ALL the time. We talk about it when we are not hungry. We talk about it when we are hungry. We talk about it when we eat and when we don’t eat. We never stop.

How many of you know a family member who, right after finishing lunch, asks: “What’s for dinner?” Hands up, too, those who argue that “let’s not have “nasi kandar” today since we had it yesterday?” A statement that thousands of “Asnafs” (the homeless community) in Malaysia would find so insulting as they would be ever so grateful to be able to afford nasi kandar every day for the rest of their lives.

Malaysian food. Yes. A subject so trivial, yet so powerful and has great impact, especially the iconic Malaysian dish – nasi lemak. So iconic and Malaysian this dish is, so much so that Singapore has laid claim to it as their own heritage dish.

Oh you didn’t know? Nasi lemak is a Singaporean dish. Google it.

It’s even permanently displayed in their Living Gallery in the National Museum of Singapore. The museum states: “This gallery focuses much on the street food sold by hawkers during the 1950s through the 1970s. On display are our familiar favorites such as Laksa, Char Kway Teow, Nasi Lemak and Satay.” Coincidentally, is there any museum in Malaysia that displays the nasi lemak as its heritage dish? Not that I know of.

root.sg, a Singapore cultural portal writes: In Singapore, nasi lemak is a notable Malay dish, and is acknowledged as an important part of Singapore’s food heritage. The dish is sold across Singapore, and some people cook it at home as well. Although traditionally consumed during breakfast, the dish is now eaten for breakfast, lunch, dinner and supper.

What are Malaysians doing about this? Post a scathing Facebook quote? Create a pathetic meme condemning our southern neighbours of being cultural thieves?

That’s what Malaysians are good at. Whining and complaining and yelling. But when it comes to proving that nasi lemak is a Malaysian dish, no one seems to be able to defend this dish.

What does Wikipedia has to say about it?

“Nasi lemak is a Malay cuisine dish consisting of fragrant rice cooked in coconut milk and pandan leaf. It is commonly found in Malaysia, where it is considered the national dish; it is also the native dish in neighbouring areas with significant Malay populations such as Singapore; Brunei, and Southern Thailand. In Indonesia it can be found in several parts of Sumatra; especially Malay realm of Riau, Riau Islands and Medan. Nasi lemak can also be found in the Bangsamoro region of Mindanao prepared by Filipino Moro. It is considered one of the most famous dishes for a Malay-style breakfast.”

Yes, Wikipedia does mention that Malaysian considers it a national dish. But which version?

Which Version Of Nasi Lemak, Please

The Singapore national dish called nasi lemak is usually fragrant rice cooked in coconut milk with a slight hint of ginger and pandanus, served with fried thinly sliced egg omelette, spicy sweet sambal (chilli sauce) and either a fried fish (usually ikan selar kuning or yellowtail scad) or a slice of otak-otak (nope, it’s not zombie food). And of course garnished with slices of cucumber. As you can see, the Singapore version is actually different from the Malaysian version which should be fragrant rice cooked with coconut milk or santan, sambal tumis (either anchovies or squid), fried anchovies with fried groundnut and a half hard boiled egg. I think everyone can agree that this is the traditional Malay nasi lemak that is cited as our national dish and also a certified intangible heritage cuisine of the nation.

But now, that’s where the ‘traditional’ ends. Because the nasi lemak we all know today is a totally different concoction. The one mentioned above is now usually what you get when you buy nasi lemak bungkus. What you usually have as nasi lemak is basically nasi campur spread with nasi lemak (the rice). You destroy the traditional nasi lemak with fried chicken (whatever form – tumeric fried, fried with lots of spices, or fried with seasoned flour mix – the KFC variety, etc), chicken or beef rendang, sambal sotong (squid), kangkong (water spinach), sambal kerang (clams) and many other side dishes.

The first time I was exposed to this smosgabord nasi lemak style was when a friend took me to the famous and original Nasi Lemak Antarabangsa found near the Sulaiman Club in Kampung Baru area in the late 70s. I was shocked to see the plethora of side dishes to be eaten with my nasi lemak. I cannot brain it then and I cannot brain it now. I am a purist. Even when I cook nasi lemak at home – it is just nasi lemak, cucumber slices, eggs (boiled or fried sunny side up) and sambal tumis. That’s it. No fried peanut, no rendang, no fried chicken, no sotong, nothing. When I am not so lazy, I will fry a crispy ikan selar kuning (yellowtail scad) which exposes my Singapore roots.

But that’s not all. The nasi lemak in the North is not nasi lemak at all! It’s nasi kandar disguised as nasi lemak. Ok, sue me all you want! Of course nasi lemak Kedah is delicious but it is not nasi lemak. If it is you might as well call the briyani nasi lemak too. Nasi lemak CANNOT be eaten with curry!!! Nooooo!!!! Never!!!!

But unfortunately Wikipedia has already included it. It’s called Indian Nasi Lemak. To be served with whatever curry you want.

The Chinese Nasi Lemak is also listed – just because the side dishes are non-halal dishes.

Across the border, nasi lemak is called nasi gurih or uduk. So let’s not even go into that debate.

And don’t let me start about satay, okay?

This is Hang Kasturi signing off.

Yeah, the guy who actually fought Tuah, not the fake guy named Jebat.

Google it.

About the writer: Unemployed writer, stressed beyond belief. Waiting for the light at the end of the tunnel to shine on his world. Bad golfer. Wannabe cartoonist.

The post Intangibility Of Our Intangible Heritage – The Unassuming Nasi Lemak first appeared on NMH.