Motherhood pressure in Malaysia remains entrenched as married couples are still expected to have children soon after marriage, despite fertility rates dropping to historic lows. Sivaa Tangai Raju has the story
KUALA LUMPUR: Motherhood in Malaysia is often closely linked with marriage, with couples frequently questioned on when they plan to have children soon after tying the knot.
While societal expectations surrounding motherhood remain deeply rooted, some couples are intentionally delaying parenthood for various reasons, including career growth, financial stability and personal goals.
It’s a fact to agree that motherhood pressure continues to persist in Malaysia despite changing social and economic realities across different communities.
According to the Asian-Pacific Resource and Research Centre for Women (ARROW), the country’s total fertility rate had fallen to a historic low of 1.6 children per woman.
Expected motherhood
However, its Programme Officer, Sharmilah Muniandy, said the declining fertility rate has not eased social pressure on married couples to have children, adding that motherhood is still widely treated as an expectation rather than a personal choice.
“Motherhood continues to be framed as a normative expectation for women rather than an individual choice. This perception persists due to deeply rooted cultural and religious values centralising family and procreation.
“Gender norms further reinforce this by associating caregiving roles primarily with women, while mainstream dialogue on child free or non traditional life choices remains limited,” she said.
Sharmilah said pressure surrounding parenthood often begins after marriage, with women frequently subjected to intrusive questions, comparisons and assumptions from society.
She added that women continue to bear more pressure than men, particularly when couples face fertility challenges or choose to delay having children.
“There is a tendency for women to be more scrutinised in cases of infertility, although it can affect both partners. Common patterns include women being assumed to be the sole cause, alongside greater pressure placed on them to seek medical treatment or intervention.
Emotional distress
“Women also tend to experience higher levels of emotional distress than men and in some cases report verbal abuse, psychological harm and other forms of mistreatment linked to infertility,” she said.
Sharmilah explained that women who choose to remain child free continue to face stigma in Malaysia, as they are often perceived as rejecting traditional family expectations.
At the same time, she noted that delaying parenthood is becoming increasingly common due to financial pressures and changing priorities, although judgment from society remains.
“Couples who prioritise career, financial stability or personal goals before having children usually encounter mixed responses. While there is growing recognition of economic realities, these choices can still attract judgment for delaying parenthood,” she said.
On the other hand, Metro IVF Consultant Obstetrician and Gynaecologist, Lindy Bak Li Mei, said misconceptions surrounding fertility and delayed parenthood continue to shape public perception.
Before menopause
Lindy said pregnancy at an older age is still possible before menopause, especially when couples seek early advice from fertility specialists and understand the options available to them.
“As long as a woman has not reached menopause, the ovaries are still functioning and able to recruit eggs for fertilisation. Even at an advanced age, there is still hope that the recruited eggs will be able to produce a viable embryo.
“My suggestion is, please visit your fertility doctor to discuss it at such a critical age because the earlier couples seek advice, the better they can understand their fertility health and available options,” she said.
Lindy also stressed that infertility is not solely a women’s issue, noting that male and female factors contribute almost equally to difficulties in conceiving.
“Male and women factors are fairly equal in contributing to infertility, including unexplained fertility whereby both male and female are found to be within normal range of screening.
“This shows both husband and wife would have to be involved in their fertility screening as it takes both to make it work,” she said.
Echoing her, fertility specialist Dr Wong Wen Hao said advances in fertility treatment and assisted reproductive technology are continuing to give older couples opportunities to conceive later in life.
Wong told the media that advanced fertility techniques such as Pre-Implantation Genetic Testing (PGT) are now helping specialists identify healthier embryos for implantation, particularly among older couples undergoing In Vitro Fertilisation (IVF) treatment.
Maximise chances
“While natural pregnancy is very difficult after age 45, medical treatments like IVF can help couples maximise their chances using their own genetic material.
“Because donor options are generally restricted or unavailable in Malaysia, we use advanced tools like pre implantation genetic testing to find the best embryos for a healthy birth.
“For those intending to delay childbearing significantly, egg freezing, ideally before the age of 35, is a medically proven way to preserve biological potential for the future,” he said.
Wong further highlighted the emotional burden faced by couples struggling with infertility, saying public misconceptions and social pressure often worsen psychological distress.
He said infertility should be recognised as a medical condition rather than a personal failure, especially as many couples already face anxiety and emotional exhaustion throughout the process.
“Societal pressure from family and the community can lead to significant emotional distress, including clinical anxiety and social isolation, which only compounds the medical challenges couples are already facing,” he said. – NMH
New Malaysia Herald publishes articles, comments and posts from various contributors. We always welcome new content and write up. If you would like to contribute please contact us at : editor@newmalaysiaherald.com
Facebook Comments
Facebook Comments