DAP: We Ain’t No Commies, We Are Brothers And Sisters Of ….

One hardly want to see a DAP member cutting ribbons, or flagging off runners. Most want to see the party’s chief antagonisers braying for blood – the louder the noise, the higher the vibrato netizens create to shake the cyber-sphere; yet their recent denial of communist connection reveals something else …

The other day according to this report “Former Damansara MP Tony Pua has responded to Umno Youth’s plan to lodge police reports over his Facebook posts on the Pardons Board decision regarding Datuk Seri Najib Razak”, apparently Tony bro insulted the Agong.

Well, they don’t call DAP biaDAP (rude) for nothing.

But that’s not the point. He later mentioned there that his own “days of police reports” are, in fact, over. DAP, on the whole, for detractors that is, had never probably done any decent day’s work for the people of their constituency, but you can bet your sweet ass that they have never let go of their deep relationship with the law. I also bet your sweet ass (no, not my fetish) that they have about 278 containers storing only copies of police reports they made about since some of them got their asses hauled by Dr. Mahathir during Ops Lalang. Some of them are buddies with the sexagenarian now (God, this sentence sounds kinky). 


Speaking of police report, in fact, as recent as last November, three of the DAP lawmakers made a police report because some PAS girl claimed – referring to DAP in general – and implied that the party, and/or some members have a connection with the communist party and that they supported, practised and spread communist ideology and philosophy in the country.

Good that the DAP buggers retaliated. In fact, I would consider the gal to be dumb if she was to think that DAP has anything to do with a God-less ideology. Au Contraire, almost all of the party members are as religious as … err… hell? Someone once mentioned that if Barisan Nasional is like the Republicans in the US, then DAP and gang are like the Democrats.

That’s horse shit. Most DAP members are regular Islamophobic church-goers worshipping the god who presided over mass people drowninglocust sending and pestilence causing events. Like how some of the Muslim leaders use mosques to preach, DAP leaders take advantage of the churches sending chills down the patrons’ spine with race-based horror fiction as if Book of Revelation has not already shrunk several vital organs.

I know this personally, as I have seen  – during my rehab days, where the Centre itself was a ministry of a huge church in PJ – DAP politicians regularly appearing and giving sermons with completely direct, go for broke, speeches against UMNO and the other race (you know, *wink! wink!*).

While politically, the Malays are divided between UMNO, PAS and various other Malay based parties, it is a well-known fact that both Chinese (the race) and Christians (the religion) are with DAP, a majority of their support that is, enough to spark rumours that DAP is intent on its Agenda to Christianise Malaysia. Not the first time though

So, there is no effin way has DAP got to do with an atheism-based ideology as that PAS gal claimed. Definitely not communist, no. This is also affirmed by the Communist Party of Malaya member, Abdullah CD, who noted that the People’s Action Party of Singapore, from which DAP splintered from, was staunch anti-communist

Church Funding

On the other hand, DAP’s association with churches is a very open thing. Here they fund a church’s renovation work. Here’s Hannah Yeoh being called by cops for Ziarah Gereja program – where she was accused of being associated with it. Definitely not Hannah, who is too busy being a sports minister and extremely tied up in giving millions to losers. Which bird wouldn’t mind wetting their beaks from the very pond they are planning to give others. 

DAP, especially in Penang is spiritual as heck. They are so obsessed with the God you can’t see physically and existentialism, we are still looking for the goddamned tunnel in Penang that can only be seen by the spiritual DAPsters – we call them that, combining DAP and hamsters, you know the one that runs on the same wheel, round and again, round and again, round and again?. Yeah, that hamster.

Disclaimer: The above is a satire aimed at teaching children about the value of bringing up hamsters. If you are offended and wanted to sue me, please do by all means. I’m sure as hell could use some publicity. If you are hurting, then you better seek the rapist, I mean, a therapist.NMH

Editor’s note: The points expressed in this article are that of the writer and do not necessarily reflect the stand of the NMH.

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Rakesh Premakumaran Kumar
A movie buff, as opposed to film connoisseur or aficionado, because the last two words are hard to spell, Rakesh has been in the field of writing for more than two decades and hopes that one-day movie “buff”ing is lucrative enough to afford him a Batmobile, the Michael Keaton one.

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